2007+AllStarBreak

We went to Philly for the 2007 All-Star Break...Birdie was in the lead and had a free ticket to the Phillies vs. Cardinals Game, but he passed because he had a broken pink...y.

Included are some pictures and below that is the All-Star Wrap up by the Commish...you don't want to see the pictures post wrestling...trust me....

...I still have bruises....

here is the All-Star Mid Season Report:

Rockem Sockem 6 All-Star Break Review.

What a titillating (TeeHee) first half of the season. We have had mood swings, debates on rules, trips planned, veto’s, blockbusters, injuries, engagements and even a Paul Shuuuuueeeeeeyyyyy sighting…but some things never change, **__Rockem Sockem Still Rules All!!!!__**

Some other things don’t change either…like the 2 Don’s clogging up the drain at the bottom of the league with their wayward pubes they call players…and Mike and Winston fluttering around the eat for free line at the top. But I think it is safe to say surprises were the norm (is that even metaphorically possible??!?) Birdie’s point dominance at the top has been astounding. The difference in actual stats isn’t as great and we saw the major dip down only a few weeks ago, but his first half-first place lockdown has been quite impressive. Hell, I picked him to finish 11th with I think something along the lines of… ‘either way I think the Ferrari will be ponyin’ up for some dinner come eats time.’

While I still think that is entirely possible…I mean we have half a season left…Birdie has won his free ticket to the Rockem Sockem All-Star Break Road trip to the Phillies vs. Cardinals game on Saturday. Congrats! Kudos! Nature Valley! Power Bar! You deserve the praise…for now.

I am still not sure how the Torre A New One’s are straddling the 123 point peak, but Martin has been a gem for you and the staff has come up roses with papelboner returning to the pen, I mean you have double digits in almost every category and only have 4 fucking all stars, 2 pitchers and 2 catchers…It is like you are winning this fucking league with smoke and mirrors HOW IN GOD’S NAME IS THIS HAPPENING!?!?!?, but I regress…congrats. Dick. Oh and congrats on engagement, your fellows in the top 3 spots both have had some experience with that, Winston just bought an engagement TV and Mike found his engagement ring in a Crepe in Gay Paris, at least that is how I think the stories went.

Both of these squads got there in different ways with Winston staying pat from Draft day and Mike making more moves this season all ready then he made in the past 5 rockems combined…They are joined in the middle of the pack by the Anal Bleaching Bull and Wilson who is steamed from the veto’s and the fact that he had to share a raft with an ignorant couple from LA…go ahead, ask him about it, he will love to get all fired up, I bet he now blames them for falling out of the top 4. Bull’s rise has been slow but steady and these 5 seem to be slowly pulling away and creating there own pack. Moon, Myself and the Highpocketeers have all jiggled up and down like the Hooters Girls in Mapleshade NJ, having all suckled the sweet nipple of “Nearly There” success…which is a nice way of saying none of our teams have been any good to crack into the top 3. The bottom 4 have been slugging it out, well Gallagher has fallen down there recently, he goes the way of the Abreu, (more on that later) but Vig has fluctuated, and Don and Don have traded...with each other…great.

Well after that lengthy fucking intro (was suppose to be short mind you) I decided to do a Most Symbolic Player pick for each team…not necessarily your best player, in fact it may be your worst, hell he may not even currently be on your roster but it is the player who epitomizes your team (or you) to the fullest this season…or at least the one I think does so at this particular drunken moment. So enough of the babble…Bring on Short Specific Babble in Draft Order!!!

BEAT GALLAGHER- M(ost)S(ymbolic)P(layer)- Julio Lugo MI

Wow, .197 ba .598 OPS. Sure 22 steals but he was suppose to bat lead off for the mashing Sox and this is what he has become…a pinch runner who gets thrown out when he tries to steal?!!? Well at least he wasn’t drafted that high…wait he went 73rd over all. Yup, sums up the Beat Gallaghers nice like.

Spearmint Rhinos- MSP- Jorge Posada C

Wilson has been fanatical at times and lackadaisical at others in his Rockem Sockem Career and while I thought of putting Roid Head Clemens in this spot I think Posada is his true MSP. A-rod, nah we all knew he would be good, but not many of us thought the Rhinos (Ok I didn’t think) the Rhinos would be good, or that Posada would mash the way he did at the start of the season…and then a funny thing happen, both cooled off in June, not much, but just enough in this tight league to create a bit of panic (yanks Trading Posada?!) So there you go Wilson, and at the end of the day you still have a stronger arm and can throw out more runners then your MSP. Hot Tub owes me $20.

Ephedraheartstoppers- MSP- Curt Schilling P

Here he is a Defending champ who started off with promise and descended onto the DL. Moon has been making moves and will continue to do so like no other, just like Schil who hopes to move his lard ass off the DL by working hard, blogging and faking a bloddy sock. Schilling almost threw a no hitter and Moon almost threw the league into a tizzy and both have been slow to recover mentally and physically. Both could move up, Schilling to the Bigs and the World Series, and Moon into the Winners circle to claim past glories, both have the pedigree, but one seems like a dick and one is consistently a dick…take your pick. Zing!

Italian Stallions- MSP- Rich Harden P

Like the Stallions this talented arm just can’t seem to get on track for the A’s…there is talk of him moving around…Pen, LA, NYC, Starter. Both have taken on different jobs to make ends meet, but both are looking for that big break. Here’s hoping they both get it. But here’s hoping harder I finish ahead of Vig.

Zedemore’s Poles MSP- Matt Holliday OF

Besides the fact that they share a hairline both Winston and Holliday are incredibly comfortable at home. Holliday bopping at Coors and Winston right around 2nd and 3rd place. Both have been the recent models of consistency and both are waiting for their break through, could the second half be it for both? I am hoping both get hunted and clawed by a new breed of Cougar.

The Anal Bleachers MSP- Ryan Howard 1b

Dennis Walters is a big black man.

Dogzilla- MSP- AJ Burnett P

Every year around draft day experts gloat over AJ’s ‘stuff’, but few mention his Frag-ell-Lee body. This year I thought AJ had a legit shot (I said some combo of Burnett Contreras and Arroyo would be good, and Burnett was the best bet of the 3) as I did the Dogzilla’s. But leave it to the experts and the commish to be fooled. Fatty has been wheeling and dealing and with the tightness could make a run…but I doubt my prediction of him winning the league comes true, or at least as true as Burnett’s impending season ending surgery.

Oceans Blyleven MSP- Chase Utley 2B

Both came into there own a few years ago and have risen to the tops of their positions, the OB’s have won rockem and Utley has cemented himself as a first round pick for years to come. With some dropping and adding the Blyeven’s hope to follow the lead of their MSP and constantly finish in the free eats and high school snatch. If the season ended today they would, I hear both Utley and Mike have been scouting out the catholic girls schools. Only half a season to go….(Side note, in the middle of this review there was a heinous gastro explosion over here, the commish only hopes this is symbolic of this teams second half’s chances but he fears it is probably more symbolic of his own.)

C-Town Highpockets MSP- Lance Berkman 1b/Of

Well think this one was one of the most obvious, a major player underperforming, sure as shit that is what the Highpockets currently are all about…pre season picked to finish 2nd these Pockets seem to be leaking/ripped/full of lint…only bright spot is the hated Sheffield, who is playing like a machine. A ball hitting machine. Testicles. The season isn’t lost, playing in that band box Berkman can explode in the second half and BK can make a run, in fact I figure this will probably happen, both are too good to stink this bad.

Torre A New One MSP- Russell Martin C

I mean who else has been so surprising and dominant? Martin is the best catcher in the game, 22nd overall ranked player and Birdie came out of nowhere for first. I mean he has had potential in the past, just like Martin did last year before getting hurt, but this year it seems to be all Shine-ola and no shit for Birdie and Martin, congrats to both All-Stars.

Big Papi Don’t Preach MSP- Bobby Abreu OF

I take back what I said in BK’s MSP report…this is the most obvious selection, as I stated in my intro (I should really re-read these things from my ghost writer before I take credit for them) As goes the jerri-curled Abreu so goes the Papi’s, and unfortunately it has been “So It Goes…” Vonnegut style for the Preachers and Abreu. Yuck. But neither have ever been this consistently bad, so there is hope. “Help me Bobby Abreu…you’re my only hope!!” Picture Gallagher in a Princess Leia white robe and hair braids and that last sentence all of a sudden becomes funny.

The 500 MSP- Todd Helton 1B

Well I would love to say my MSP is the other Rocky on my squad but Atkins was horrible to start the season and on fire lately and in truth my squad hasn’t been that much of a roller coaster ride, we have been stuck around the middle of the pack the whole season, and that is kinda where Todd Helton has been this season in regards to 1b’s his on-base is stellar, but HR’s are down. We are also both trying something a bit new with the facial hair. Not good not bad, chance to rise, chance to fall apart post steroids like the Daddies/500. He was a monster years ago, but a shell of himself now. Yup, sums up the 500/Daddies nice like.

Bringing it all back home…lets get this second half started.